


Definition of Recognition

by pisceanGeneticist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-11-16 03:16:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pisceanGeneticist/pseuds/pisceanGeneticist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider and his brother have always had a difficult relationship. Lack of communication makes for a shakey bond, if you could even call it that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

He was always gone. Which wasn’t a big deal. It never really bugged me to be honest, but nothing ever really bugged me when I was a kid.

Eight years old, snot smeared across my face and dried on my shirt sleeve from the flu that was going around, I stood home alone, playing my brothers Xbox while he was gone. I had decided on my own that I was unfit for school, I knew better than to ditch, but I really wasn't up for it and my throat was hurting that day.

I remember freezing in place when I heard the door open, my young heart pounding in my chest as I heard movement in the kitchen. The crinkle of a paper bag and the opening and closing of random cabinets assured me that my brother was home.

I died in the game I was playing, too scared to even move my fingers to press the pause button.

After a few more minutes of shuffling, I heard the front door to our apartment open then shut again. Nothing locked, no; he always left that up to me. If I forgot to lock the door and someone busted in and killed me, it'd be my own fault, not his problem.

Though that’s what I always seemed to be to him. Just a problem.

Thinking about it now, I never turned around that day. I wasn't brave enough to face him and just say a simple hello. I hadn't seen him for weeks, I wasn't sure on how to approach him. Hell, I was only eight, I was more scared of him kicking my ass for touching his shit rather than if that was going to be the last opportunity to talk to him for another month.

God I wish I would have turned around that day.

I remember how easy things used to be. When I was young and naïve. When I didn't think twice about not seeing my big brother for months on end, the only sign that he hadn’t completely abandon me was the food and supplies on the counter once every two weeks. Not even a note saying where he was or when he'd be back. Just basic shit for living and a hundred dollar bill so I could get what I wanted and I wouldn't bitch.

Despite my brother leaving me to practically fend for myself, I wasn't all alone.

I had my bestfriend, John Egbert to keep me company and entertained. The closest thing I'll ever have to a mom would be my friend Rose Lalonde. She’s such an amazing girl. Another amazing girl in my life was Jade Harley, the quirky female version of Tarzan. They're the ones who kept me from losing it and turning into some sort of antisocial freak.  
I didn't need my brother. I had my friends. I could live happy like that.

At least I had thought so.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took awhile to post!!! but i made it longer than what i normally would have done to make up for it uwu

It wasn’t until five years later I had decided I wanted Bro around more.

I don’t know why it took me until I was thirteen to start craving his attention. Maybe it was the hormones of oncoming puberty. Maybe I just realized the one thing he’s supposed to do is the only thing he wasn’t doing. It was whatever. The fact was I had started to do stupid shit to get Bro to stick around.

And it got out of hand.

First I tried timing whenever he’d come around, and then stayed up late to try and catch him. The problem with that was the fact that Bro didn’t have a schedule to come see his little bro. He came by whenever the fuck he felt it was convenient. Which meant me passing out by the time he finally decided to show up.

So I change tactics.

I stopped going to school. It gave me a bigger window of opportunity to catch my bro at home. And with the school constantly calling him to ask why I wasn’t there, he was bound to show up sometime. I knew it was a big risk, but at the time, I felt like it was worth it.

It took two weeks.

I was sitting in my room, mixing music to send to my best friend when he came. At that point, I was already giving up on catching my brother; I was just enjoying not being at school. Though somehow, I caught the unmistakable sound of the locks grinding against metal and cheap wood, the clicks and rattle of the doorknob, and finally the creaking of the squeaky hinge as the front entrance to my humid apartment swung open. My heart, along with everything in my hands, dropped once I heard it slam shut.

Then I heard his voice.

_“Dave. The fucking roof. Right now.”_

I was paralyzed. I knew what he meant, we’d strifed before, but never has he verbally commanded me to do anything. It’d been so long since I’d heard his voice. He never chose to speak to me; all communication was portrayed through notes or some cryptic fucking message. The last time I could remember him talking to me was when I graduated kindergarten, ‘good job kid’. Those three words had me beaming with pride. So simple, yet they still meant so much.

These words were different.

His voice was strong, firm, assertive. Hints of anger, no, frustration, was easily detected. It was smooth, intoxicating, it made my ears go hot just by hearing him. There was something else, something that made my heart clench and my stomach flip. That’s when it became obvious.

He had said my name.

Called me out specifically. My name. No one else’s. Not a ‘little man’ or ‘kid’ or even, ‘little shit’. But Dave. He said Dave. The way he spoke my name had sent shivers down my spine. I wanted to hear it again, so badly. I even considered lingering in my room, pretending I didn’t hear him, having him call out to me again. Though I knew whatever was awaiting me on the roof would only be worsened if I took my time. So I slipped on shoes and grabbed my sword, then headed out to meet my Bro on the roof.

It was bright outside that day.

I remember that because when I opened the door to the roof, even through my shades I had to squint. But once my eyes adjusted, I noticed I was alone on the roof. Or at least it seemed that way until I felt something hard hit me in the center of my back. The force sending me forward and skidding on the loose gravel, taken by surprise, I couldn’t catch myself. I was on my hands and knees, gripping my sword. We hadn’t even started strifing and I was already bleeding.

I must have looked pathetic.

Quickly, I tried recover by turning around and getting to my feet. No such luck. A simple _thwack_ had me back on my ass and dropping my sword. My hand was stinging and red. I knew it was going to welt up badly. I went for my blade again and I was greeted with yet another _thwack_ from the back of Bro’s blade. I cursed and tried shaking the pain off.

_“Watch your god damn mouth.”_

The command made me want to laugh. It was ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous was how fast my heart was racing with him so close. I felt my pulse hammering in my ears, each word he spoke was another moment I forgot to breathe. My palms were sweating from nervousness, though I could play it off as from the heat. I couldn’t play off the knot in my stomach though, so I supposed it was a good thing he couldn’t see that.

I wanted to see his face.

I wanted to look up, take in all of his features, every little tiny detail. I wanted to see how tall he’d gotten, how much he might’ve changed. I wanted to ask him about where he’d been and why he wasn’t around. I wanted to hug him, and tell him I missed him so much it hurt. But it didn’t matter what I wanted. It didn’t matter how badly I wanted it either.

I was too afraid to take what I wanted.

And I wanted him. Not in the sexual sort of way, but I wanted him as a brother. Just for him to be there for me. To care, or at least act like he did. I just wanted him to do the only he was supposed to. To take care of me. I know most thirteen year olds wouldn’t complain about getting loads of cash once a month and the freedom to do whatever they pleased. But I guess I just wasn’t most thirteen year olds. I was a special fucking snowflake.

_“So are you going to tell me why you haven’t been going to school? Or am I going to have to beat it out of you?”_

More words, more chills down my spine. I couldn’t respond to that. What was I supposed to say, ‘I haven’t been going to school because I want you to be around more,’ Of course I couldn’t say that. All I could do was look off towards the end of the roof, over the city. My sightseeing didn’t last long before Bro grabbed me roughly and heaved to my feet. I barely had time to grab my weapon. With a hard shove, he threw me backwards. I stumbled, but landed on my feet.

_“I guess you chose the latter.”_

At that point, I knew I was fucked.

Fighting him was hard, he’d rush me, I’d block, he’d kick, and I’d duck. I was on defense the entire time, and I could tell he was getting tired of it. His blade would whoosh by my side, so close to gashing me open it’d slice my shirt. He’d nail me so hard with the back of his sword’s handle I’d go sprawling backwards and land on my back. I barely had time to roll away before he struck down in the spot I had fallen. Either he thought highly of my fighting abilities or he was genuinely trying to kill me.

This went on for an hour. I started getting tired.

He noticed too, that’s when his attacks were even rougher. It took all I had to not get split in two. But that’s when I faulted. I misstepped, didn’t move to block correctly, and that’s when his blade shot upwards, getting my blade so hard the fucking thing broke in half. That didn’t slow him down though, I tried my hardest to keep my shit together but I took yet another wrong step and his blade came up again. It didn’t hit mine this time, it got my hand. A ribbon of red and a cry of pain had me drop what was left of my sword.

I was too occupied with the pain in my hand to see Bro come at me again.

His foot connected with my shoulder and the next thing I was flying backwards. There was a loud pop. I didn’t even realize I was screaming until I stopped to take a breath. My breathing got ragged after that, I was trying hard to not make any noise, just to suck it up. I didn’t want to look weak in front of him. Taking a deep breath, I tried to sit up.

I guess my arm didn’t get the memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i ever take too long to post a chapter either comment or go bug me on my blog because chances are that I have started it but got lazy.
> 
> (mrsfeferivantas.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know it's been ages since I updated, sorry about that. I honestly don't think I ever rly would have unless a certain someone had said something.  
> So you guys can thank Kat_of_Seas for this chapter!!

I almost passed out just watching my arm hang limp on the side of my body, not to mention the intense pain. I grabbed at it with my hand and almost started crying. I guess I had forgotten that my hand was sliced as well. Black dots started forming at the edge of my vision, and then everything went black.

 

When I woke up, I was in my room, and the sun was well set.

 

My body felt stiff and sore, like I’d taken a serious beating. Which had been exactly the case, Bro had really ripped me a fucking new one. My arm was in some sort of sling, and my hand was bandaged. I tried wriggling my fingers, it hurt like a bitch and there were definitely stiches. Bro must have patched me up while I was out. It must have been easier to do it when I was unconscious and quiet.

 

Quiet. Sort of how the house was right now.

 

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Had he left while I was asleep? I shot up quickly and regretted it instantly. I cried out from the pain shooting through my body, I cursed. But the pain was nothing compared to the gripping fear that I’d lost him again. That I’d gone through all of that for nothing. Gritting my teeth, I tried to scramble out of bed; maybe I’d be able to catch him still.

 

A voice spoke out, I froze in place.

_“Are you trying to fucking kill yourself? Lay the hell back down.”_

 

Bro’s voice was firm. I did as he demanded. I wouldn’t argue against anything he asked of me, I don’t think I could if I wanted to. As my head hit the pillow, I heard his footsteps move closer. My heart raced. When I felt his hands on me, examining my shoulder, running over the sorest part, my heart ached. His hands lightly ran down my arm to my hand, lifting it and looking over the bandage.

 

The shiver that ran through me at that point couldn’t be hid.

_“You’ll need to rest. And since you can’t seem to take care of yourself even when you’re not fucked up, I’ll be here to watch after you.”_

 

Goosebumps raised on my arms, a smile cracked in my tired face. I had done it. I got Bro back. Bailing on school wasn’t a failed attempt. Getting my ass handed to me wasn’t for nothing. He was here and he’d be staying and I couldn’t be happier. Of course, the only evidence of that was the barely visible grin that weakly starred on my face.

_“Stop grinning dumbass. You’re lucky I didn’t break your fucking shoulder.”_

 

He seemed irritated. I didn’t care.

 

My brother was finally home.


End file.
